A beautiful, delicate young woman came up to me after the first class last night. She said she was drawn to me and then told me about her mother who had stayed in an abusive marriage for years. The story was horrific. This lovely girl witnessed the worst kind of mental and physical abuse. Her mother is a psychologist. And after escaping from her husband and holing up in Sparcc shelters in Florida she was able to have her husband arrested and put in jail for five years.
She is now seeing him again.
How is any of this possible?
What mental gymnastics of denial and excuses and flimsy explanations allows you to move back to your oppressor - back to the man who beat you in front of your children?
I told her I wasn't hit intentionally, that I was shaken. Grabbed and shaken. Her eyes were full of tears, "That's abuse. That's abuse."
What were my excuses and flimsy explanations? How did I justify my staying?
And now he lives next door. My God.
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A journey from abandonment towards liberation
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About Me
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- I am a 54 year old woman, and mother of a beautiful 23 year-old woman, living in the suburbs of Richmond, VA. On January 7, 2007 my husband of ten years waited until I was out of town for the weekend, loaded a truck with every possession he believed belonged to him, left an impersonal note about the division of finances and abandoned our marriage. Having been cheating on me for several months with our recently widowed neighbor, they lied until his escape plan was comfortably in order. Now he threatens to move next door. This is my crucible – a chronicle familiar to many women. It is a truthful testimony of betrayal and survival.
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