so. I was ready for the birthday from hell:
Middle-aged (well middle-aged if I live to be 108 years old) abandoned woman with a major chest scar celebrates her first single birthday in twelve years with a noble, "no really, birthdays mean nothing to me" attitude, and a really lousy attempt at smiling through the confusion.
Prepared to be glazed over, fogged out, and feeling completely vunerable. fighting the urge to look over to the next door neighbor's deck where I was sure I would catch sight of my ex-husband toasting his lover with a lovely glass of bordeaux while glaring at his old home with superiority. BAM, instant hot flash. My new reaction to the thought, memory, and lingering fear of "M" - HUGE red hot flash starting with my face and descending into my chest. All over sweat and dizziness. Ah yes, a new physical way to experience loss.
What really happened:
Fabulous, generous cards and calls and flowers and balloons on all the door handles.
A dinner made by my daughter. An adorable funny birdbath given by Deb and salad tossers from Molly.
And just as I was about to go out to weed, a surprise party! Thrown in my own kitchen by my darling neighbors - bearing quiches, and wine and chips and plants for my garden. parading into my kitchen, talking all at once and pouring wine, finding dishes as I stood with my mouth slightly ajar. Darling, disarming generousity and love brought into my home. I'm still in shock. Did that really happen? Are people really that loving and open and sensitive? I'm grinning. Heart gifts. What love. What kindness.
How lucky am I. thank you thank you.
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1 comment:
Interesting to know.
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