the beach and a birthday

Molly and I met at Rob and Deb's wonderful little home on the Outer Banks. Once again I had the pleasure of watching an intact marriage. They know each other so well and take care of each other with kindness and consistently, side-stepping the areas where they drive each other crazy. Their's is a good marriage and a trusting friendship - all their own.

We went to Pea Island on Sunday. It is a wild place that Molly and I have loved since she was four. "M" never felt comfortable coming here and associating with Rob and Deb's friends. My first husband's spirit lives here and besides "M" expressed often how he couldn't relate to these people. They were too simple for him. It is their simplicity I most admire.

Every week these old friends gather on one of the most beautiful beaches in America. They are craftspeople and building contractors, social workers and artists. They sit on beach chairs and watch the water - spot the porpoises and the rays' dark flashes in the waves. They read and do crossword puzzles and tell stories about their children or dogs or complain about the tourists. Everyone shares fried chicken and Pringles and Gatorade and sunscreen, and decide if the water is warm enough or the waves good enough for a small afternoon adventure. Some of them spend the day surfing long boards and coming in only for a minute for the umbrella shade and a long drink of water. A few play with their kids in the foamy edge catching tiny fish to throw to the gulls. A few women just go into the surf just to cool down, dunking their heads and climbing out of the surf after a brief float, their adventure days are behind them. They exchange recipes, or book titles, or vent about their husbands. They have been meeting on these beautiful beaches every Sunday for years.

Molly and I are occasional visitors these days. Everyone knows about our dark winter and the women shower us with kindness, the men never know what to say.

Sunday was a warm day with a soft breeze. We arrived at the beach as the tide was almost out and the waves were big enough to ride longboards and soft enough for a beach weenie to boogie board. Another visitor, a woman one month younger then me who is divorced, has two kids and retired as full colonel told me to grab her son's boogie board and come out to play. Ohmygod it was amazing. Hours and hours of just pointing the boards towards the shore and jumping on board. We laughed until we almost drowned. She would yell "Let's show them what a couple of almost 54 year old women can do." And so we did. Rushing towards the shore perched on a top of a white foamy wave looking at each othere in amazement and laughing. I got tumbled once and didn't panic. I went down the falls and learned how to compensate the board to avoid disaster next time. The white water would bubble around my head and I would think of my women friends and sisters and how much fun they would have on this gentle exhilarating jet to the beach. For two hours there was no "M", no guilt, no sorrow, no birthday. Just the same kid who would of loved this 40 years ago loving it right now. And surfing next to me was my blonde surfer person daughter, standing on the waves - triumphant. A fine afternoon.

Happy birthday Universe. Thank you for the perfect gift.